September 13th, 2009: Washington at New York

New York Liberty 86, Washington Mystics 65

And boom, it was over, just like that.


It's a bittersweet ending, because it is an ending, and it's an ending that we've known was coming for a week and more. It's not like we were part of the group fighting for the last berth on the 12th. We were already out. It's a discomfiting feeling for a Liberty fan, something that just doesn't happen all that often.

Today was perfect attendance picture day. Thanks for getting me on the list, Megan- my ticket for the July 26th game hadn't been scanned, so I never got the letter, but Megan was kind enough to put me on after I sent her a link to the GNoD for that game. (If necessary, I also have a signed ticket from that game- good thing I never sent it to Frisco!) The pictures were pretty quick, though they paused between each fan shot to get a team photo. Janel kept bumping Cathrine. Cathrine's body language was "OMG, stop it, I can't take you anywhere." Seriously, though, we didn't even have time to say "Cheese!" (or "Liberty!" like the group before us) before they hustled us off. I was the one who put the devil horns on. It's amazing how many people had normal conversations with me while I was wearing them.

Vicky Bullett is still awesome and great to talk to. And her penmanship is exquisite. I've had a soft spot for her since her Sting days, so that was OMGyay! *squee*

Dear choir: "purple mountain's majesty". Majesty is singular, like Liberty. It's not majesties. Nice job otherwise, though.

Oh, Kym. The voice is still beautiful, but it's not been treated well. Repeating phrases is really annoying. The team gathering around her is also starting to smack of cheese, given that none of them played with her, and only four of them even played with someone who played with her, and if she weren't hammered into everyone's heads as a Liberty legend, I honestly think Essence is the only one who might know her from a hole in the ground.

(Does anyone else wish FFO would kiss and make up with Tari already? Those were some pipes.)

Big, big contingent of Mystics fans in attendance. Very enthusiastic before the game, not so much during, but that's 'cause the Mystics were trying to keep everyone from getting hurt and didn't really care about winning it because the seeds were locked.

I really don't like Matee Ajavon. I was glad that she couldn't hit the broad side of a barn in the first half, and that the first Mystics' possession ended in her losing the ball to Essence. I don't know what happened in the second half that lit a fire under her ass, but I did not like it one bit. Also, kinda jerky that she kept going for her own and not spreading the wealth to scoreless teammates when she had an opportunity. Melvin didn't play a lot, and I don't remember her doing anything remarkable. Harding ran the team all right, but there was something about her performance that I can't put my finger on that would have bothered me if I were a Mystics fan. Currie still maintains that attitude that endears her ever so much to opposing fans and to referees. I think I yelled, "Shut up, Monique!" at least three times in the first half. She was hitting her shots today, so I have to at least give her credit for that. Langhorne was relatively quiet, because the outside shots weren't falling and she was getting exploited in terms of height- she's one of the few players the Liberty can do that to, especially when we're going to our bench, where the taller players are. (well, and Erlana)

Nakia Sanford still has a chip on her shoulder, and at this point it really should have fallen off. She kept holding and kept getting annoyed that she was getting called for it. Blue kept getting into it with Leilani- I don't know what it was, either. Mosby probably would have been more effective if she hadn't been so rudely introduced to center court. When she came back into the game, she was limping and I think things were still a little fuzzy. Coleman had a wicked block, but couldn't get her shots to fall. Mann looked all right, but honestly, you could tell it was going to be a reserve-heavy night when she got into the game in the middle of the first quarter. No disrespect, but we all know the only reason this game mattered to New York was to not cause the fans to rise up en masse and storm the court in a fit of rage- and it certainly didn't matter to Washington, except in the "let's try not to demoralize or injure ourselves before we have to go to Comcast and take on the Fever, kplzthx?" sense.

Light day for the Liberty starters, too. Cathrine looks good for jetting back and forth from Prague. (No, not really seriously, but apparently her name is showing up in the boxscores for her overseas team. I doubt she's been flying back and forth- she'd look like four miles of pounded crap- but it's funny.) Janel hit one of those "oh God, oh God, oh God, OH MY GOD!" underhand shots she's inordinately fond of. Shameka didn't look quite right, but recalling that she lost seven pounds from the flu, and that she doesn't really have that much spare weight to lose, I'm okay with that, as long as she rests up and gets herself back to fighting trim for Russia and 2010. Essence was the lucky one who got to play swing shift, and someone lit a fire under her ass at halftime too. (No, seriously, I wonder if Stringer wandered into the locker rooms, because that's the only thing I can think of that would encourage both Essence and Ajavon.) Loree didn't end on a high note, though again she had good hands on defense.

Credit where credit is due: Sidney Spencer actually had a good game. Her shots were falling, and she was aggressive on defense- she had one wicked block and a couple of plays that were either steals for her, led to steals by teammates, or led to rebounds by teammates. Of course, I do reserve the right to scream, "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG NOT TO SUCK?!" Leilani ran a pretty smooth game, except when Nikki Blue was hitting her with her ass. Nothing ends well when someone is hitting someone else with their ass. I could have sworn that was Kia's Screen Of Death, but other people are saying Erlana, and this is what happens when you wander off to the ass-end of Queens after a game and have to pick up your notes the morning after on six hours sleep and all kinds of reactions churning in your gut. Whoever it was, it was a truly awe-inspiring Screen Of Death. They nearly needed a scraper to get Mosby off the floor. If it was Lark, I'm not surprised. She had a very concentrated game. In that regard, I like Donovan not using her much. It's like she bottles it up and saves it all for the one in four games she gets into. If Donovan used her every night, she might not be as effective. Kia was pretty solid, too. 3-4 from the line is good for her. I'll take that percentage from a post every night and twice on Sundays. Ashley had a couple of big plays, brought the energy. Tiffany came to life in the second half, weaving her way into the paint for baskets and boards.

Essence, I love you as a player and respect you as a person, and if anyone could talk logic into Kurt Walker, it would be you, but... you can't talk logic into Kurt Walker. The calls were both odd and uneven- some seemed random, and there was no consistency.

There were a lot of highlight reel plays in that game. The one that still stands out to me a day later is Leilani's save to Spencer for the deuce. That was pretty sweet.

Shameka spoke to the crowd afterwards. I applaud the sentiment and the words, but it seemed really stilted, like she wasn't comfortable being the one to do it. I guess they figured that Shameka was the only one who'd get a completely positive reaction from the crowd, given Janel and Loree's inconsistency this season. I'd have still picked Janel, though. She seems to be best at off-the-cuff large-scale fan interaction out of the three captains. Shameka's good on a small-scale basis, while Loree doesn't seem to be very good at sociability with strangers at all.

We got to see Ashley do her MC Hammer thing again. Still LOLing forever. She gets so into everything she does, whether it's a rebound or a parody.

What do you mean it's over? It can't be over! September's only half-done! There's slightly over two months to the college season! What do you mean I don't get any more basketball? You're kidding, right? This is a joke, right? YOU LIE!

I wish I could be more optimistic about 2010, but we don't have a first-round pick, everyone will be a year older, and all the other teams have a chance to improve. I don't even know that there are any free agents out there that could help us, and I don't trust the FFO to make a deal that isn't fucked up the ass. And I can foresee a power struggle between Donovan and Blaze, and I don't know that Donovan has the backing to win this, which means she probably wouldn't come back, because I can't see Donovan agreeing to another round of Blaze's fuckery. So, woo.

So... I guess you guys won't see me again until November, because Washington will have to make it back to the Phone Booth for me to even consider going down there for a playoff game, and I don't find that likely. Come college season, the GNoD will return, just as snarky, observant, random, detailed, occasionally analytical, subjective with attempts at objectivity, and rambling as you've grown to love. I hope to see you at St. John's... and the Garden... and Princeton... and Iona... and Columbia... and LIU... and Fordham... and maybe Marist... and possibly Monmouth... and maybe Wagner... and possibly Bridgeport... and maybe New Haven... but definitely in the bleachers at Carnesecca. I'll be the one with the purple clipboard, writing. Always writing.

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September 8th, 2009: Indiana at New York

Indiana Fever 69, New York Liberty 63

It's a moral victory. Here, Libs, have some chicken soup.


I'll take my silver linings where I can find them. I'll savor what little victories there are to be had. In my view, forging a tie in the fourth quarter with three starters sitting on the bench speaks volumes to the grit and guts of some of these Libkids. Cutting four points off a ten-point halftime deficit for the final, with Catchings, Douglas, and Hoffman all playing their usual minutes in the second half, is a satisfying achievement, because I know that under Coyle we would have lost by twenty instead of clawing back.

Long hair, straight down, loose, suits Ashley's face very well. Damn, she looks pretty like that. Poor Loree looks like she needs a few weeks with some Tylenol, a bag of ice, and nothing vaguely resembling basketball in her life. Her face is getting scowl lines worn into it. :( Feel better, Loree!

For all the nonsense that goes on during play, Indiana is one of the most sociable teams in the league when it comes to schmoozing with the Liberty and the Liberty fans. Jessica Davenport was warmly greeted by a few of her former teammates- she and Leilani spent forever chatting at midcourt. Janel and TSB caught up, as did Janel and Katie Douglas. AD and Tully had a long talk, and don't think that didn't look silly with the height difference. Ashley smacked someone's ass, and it was one of the Jessicas, but I can't remember if it was Davenport or Moore.

Cathrine has awesome taste in music, if indeed she picked that mix (I have wondered all season, but I have no reason to doubt it, as I remember actually recognizing and liking one of the songs in her first playlist). She blushed stoplight red when they actually played it. Cat, if you ever see this, you shouldn't have blushed. Not only do you have awesome taste in music, "Runaround Sue" is actually Sue Wicks's old Cheesy Musical Hook, and I've always thought that was the appropriate old-Liberty comparison to what you bring to the table.

Should I have LOLed at Essence singing/rapping along to "Hypnotize"?

Continuing on the "Cathrine does awesome things" theme, all season I've been impressed by her throwing arm- she hits the 100s with regularity, without going all the way to the edge of the court. Tonight she must have felt like airing out her arm, because she stepped up and got one into the first row of the 200s. Fuckin' A. If she gets cut by the Liberty, the Sharks or the Justice should snap her up in a heartbeat.

The anthem singer's fashion sense was deplorable, but his rendition was one of the best I've heard at the Garden all season.

Speaking of fashion sense, Shameka had on tight black pants (someone else swears they were leather, but I refuse to speculate about Shameka in leather pants), a long blue-green top, and a broad black belt. Hair down, longish, crimped. I didn't realize Shameka had that much ass- it doesn't show up at all in the shorts.

Okay, wow, we can haz basketball notes nao. First off, screw you, Lin Dunn. I rocked the Davenport tee tonight for Jessica, and you put her in for a total of two minutes? Whatever. At least she gets to go to the playoffs. We have to buy tickets. Christina Wirth... I can see, a little bit, why the Fever fans are down on her, or at least down on her place in the rotation- she's a dirty work player with a sweet little shot, who'll get you rebounds and not fuck things up too badly, and I don't know that that's worth 11 minutes a game. Maybe it's not and Wirth just got more time because of the wonky rotations. January really needs to learn to judge her angles to the basket a little bit better. Her body's too sharply angled, and she flails her arms too much when she's trying to get to the rim. Calm down, Briann. No need to throw yourself quite so headlong into things. Dixon still has a little bit of the old magic, or maybe that was just because Spencer was guarding her on those baskets and Spencer has no foot speed. Jessica Moore got into foul trouble, really couldn't contribute as much as she'd like. I suppose she deserves some credit for making Kia's life miserable, though.

I'm trying to remember if Tully hit the floor or not. I mean, it's not a game if Tully doesn't hit the floor. That's one of the by-laws, dontchaknow. Sutton-Brown's block was memorable because Janel should have known better. It was a very dismissive swat. Alas, she didn't score, so we didn't get to hear the distaste drip off Mike W.'s voice as he said her name. Hoffman had the worst kind of luck on offense- her shots all rimmed out or didn't get the bounces, it was ridiculous. She was living hell on defense, though. She was part of a lot of critical double-teams that forced steals from the Liberty. People keep forgetting that she's a dancer. She has very quick feet for her build. *ahem, announcement* KATIE DOUGLAS IS LEFT-HANDED. SHE WILL GO TO THAT HAND. GUARD HER FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK. *end announcement* Some of those shots were impossible, except that she's Katie Douglas and impossible is a word for mere mortals. Also, see note on doubles. Tamika Catchings... my mom says, "I don't like what Tamika Catchings has become," and I can't say I don't think that's the best way to describe her. Her recklessness on the court has crystallized into an unpleasant tendency to shove people around. Ashley was the unfortunate recipient this time 'round, getting a dose of the Tamikaze's upper body and ending up on the floor with no call. She's still a talented player, with the ability to get in the paint for big boards (though she'll occasionally shove her own teammates out of bounds, good Lord) and a nasty knack for sinking jumpers in New York. But... she's not a player I necessarily want on my team anymore.

I hope Janel's gonna be okay. She played pretty well in the first half, even though she was obviously hurting... and then she didn't start the second half, Lisa White was probing her right ankle, and she spent a brief stint in the locker room. So that sucked. Loree also didn't start the second half. (Dear Briann: Loree's shoulders will not move if you throw yourself into her. This will only cause you pain, and to look like a right idiot. Love, Queenie.) Cathrine looked good in the first half, except when dealing with Hoffman, and then she barely played the second half (if at all). Ashley got the start for Shameka, and she alternated fucking awesome plays with OMG WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT plays. I swear, the refs must have felt pity for her, the way Tamika Catchings was beating her up- she just kept getting to the line. Essence was hot like fire in the first quarter- could hardly miss, and she was pretty tough on Douglas and Catchings, depending on how the assignments ended up. But Ashley and Essence did the bulk of the work making up for the lack of Shameka, and I think it wore on them. I don't think either of them will want to move until they absolutely have to.

Erlana got into the game early, and I liked that she threw her weight around a bit. Indiana'd been getting away with a bit of nonsense, so she put the fear of Liberty into them. Rebounded well, too, but damn, girl, hit a lay-up. Spencer got extended minutes, and did not suck on offense. Defensively, yes, I had Yamasaki-on-Sales flashbacks, and I can place the nine points she allowed. But for all that I bitch about her, she was open on a couple of possessions and should have got the ball. It was one of the better games I've seen her have at the Garden. Kia... I don't know. She's gotta work on her hands, whether the strength or the ability to catch the ball. I liked her work on the o-boards, though. Leilani did yeoman's work at the point- I don't think she's played this much in a single game since college, but with Loree unavailable for most of the game, FLB had to step up. Couldn't get her shot to fall, but she read the jumpers well and got the rebounds, plus kept the offense running smoothly through Indiana's chaos. I can't remember a damn thing Tiffany did, but I know she was out there.

What did we do to deserve June Courteau again? I mean it. There was some slop by both sides that should have been called for the sake of everyone's safety, and some ticky-tack calls that didn't benefit the flow of the game, but it wasn't as bad as last time (then again, good ol' Diamond Jim wasn't around this time). I pity anyone Indiana plays soon, though. I do think Catchings is going to put someone out for the season one of these days.

Also, what did we do to deserve that rendition of "New York, New York". OMG. Don't any of you Libkids quit your day jobs. Can't sing, can't dance, can handle a ball a little. (All right, all right, Essence. At least you know what a tune is, and the proper method of carrying it. But don't quit either your day job or your night job.) Dear FFO: we are past the days of Kym and Tari. Make the hurting stop.

Also, can we please recruit people who know how to play Tic-Tac-Toe? I'm tired of epic strategic fail in a game as simple as that. You try to make three. You block the other guy. Not rocket science. For that matter, if you see the Leaning Tower of Pisa and are asked where it is, don't hesitate before picking Italy. (Though Essence was in Venice, so shouldn't we have gotten some canals instead?)

Disappointingly tiny crowd. There were sections with one or two people in them. This is what happens when you schedule a game the night before the first day of school. Real women of jeenyus, eh?

Patricia, if you don't try out for the Timeless Torches, I will never forgive you. But if you do, and you block my mother from making it by taking the spot, I will be very pleased.

I'm almost up to my fourth page in 12 point Times New Roman, so maybe I should wrap this up. And I haven't even mentioned Erlana's awesome steal, or how cheesed off Shameka was by being on the bench, or Erlana's sneezing during a timeout that has me worried the whole damn team's gonna be sick by Detroit. But I guess it was an inspirational game. I love my team. <3!

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September 4th, 2009: New York at Connecticut

Connecticut Sun 88, New York Liberty 85

If it's going to end, better with a bang than with a whimper; better for the bubble to be popped in a well-played, well-coached, and not-horribly-reffed game.


And now the season officially means shit.

Vols should not go to Geno's. I don't care that the color scheme is orange. When Spencer walked in, I held my breath waiting for the matter/antimatter explosion to end the world in fire. It didn't happen, much to my relief. (I don't want the world to end. That's where I keep all my stuff! /Tick)

Someone thought it would be a good idea to present Erin Phillips with a Yankees t-shirt. East of New Haven, that is not a good idea. She got ribbed for it, and I think some of the Sun fans are planning to give her a Red Sox shirt come the 13th.

Anthem was okay. Nothing spectacular, nothing that made me go "OH GOD NO MAKE THE HURTING STOP".

Apparently the WNBA does not follow the NBA dress code. This is the second game Asjha Jones has worn jeans to. Not that she looks bad in a pair of jeans, not at all, and the shirt was very nice too. It's just... they're jeans.

Shameka tried to do the late-arriving Meeksiah thing, but it fizzled out for her, and for the life of me I have no clue why she was anywhere near the ballhandler when she had five fouls. I don't get it. That block on Jekabsone-Zogota was pretty, though. Loree still has time management issues, but she showed her old cojones for the first time in a long time, snatching down rebounds, driving the lane, and hitting jumpers. I hope she doesn't let the results of this game dissuade her from taking a more active role in the last few games this season and into next year. Cathrine wasn't able to look for her own shot, whether because of play-calling, defense, or lack of initiative, but she continued her solid work on the boards and set a couple of nice screens. Essence started off hot, and had a decent defensive game, but again, stupid in the overtime. Janel still doesn't look like she's all there. I mean more than usual. She's not going up with any authority and she's settling for outside shots, plus she seemed to be under the impression that she was still on the same team as Whalen. Sit her ass down and keep her healthy.

Ashley had a lot of big plays, a lot of hustle plays- but her man-to-man defense was pretty bad. Holt blew by her a couple of times. Tiffany went to the Loree Moore school of clock management and took a lot of dumb (either contested, off-balance, or out of range) shots early in the clock, which didn't help our offensive flow all that much. Kia- girrrl, hit somebody! This isn't college. The sportsmanship rules are different, and if you don't hit them, they'll hit you, and it ain't gonna be pretty. Leilani was a decent match-up against Phillips, but she didn't do anything, and especially against a team that tinkers with lineups the way the Sun do, we need everyone to contribute, not just to not fuck up. Spencer got in briefly when Shameka had to sit down, whether because of exhaustion or stupidity, and didn't do anything. *sigh* Used to it by now.

Lindsay Whalen doesn't know the meaning of the word "quit". I think calling her the Sun's quarterback is appropriate, not just because of her solid build but because she orchestrates everything so well. She made sure the Sun kept their cojones by driving the lane- and our defense parted for her like the Red Sea. Jekabsone-Zogota continues to impress me not just with her shooting form and accuracy, but with her smarts on the court, both defensively and offensively. She shows a lot of hustle that I don't expect to see from European players and can't in my life remember seeing from European guards. She had the play of the game that was so amazing that it gets its own paragraph later. Gruda looked out of sorts, but I think that's as much to do with Janel keeping her out of her comfort zone and the constant doubles coming at her as it did with any attitude she may be showing. Tan White seems to be after Tully Bevilaqua or Debbie Black's record for most times laid out on the floor. Not exactly the world's greatest defensive plan, but it shows nerve. Kerri Gardin got the start, but I don't really remember much she did except for the three.

Erin Phillips may be crazy, but she makes things happen. Keeping her as a point guard is a waste of her talents. I don't know that she has the... not temperament, but the word will do... for the position. Holt drove the lane hard. She threw up some stupid shots too, but I think she kept the fire burning for the Sun. Whitmore was useful as a screen-setter, and, hey, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it, especially when your roster makeup means you're taking a lot of threes right now. Black was pretty well neutralized. Woo-hoo. Brown got in, didn't do much.

There were some dicey calls in the game, but I'll be fair and say a lot of them went the Liberty's way. Not as many of them were bad calls as the Sun fans two rows behind me thought- one of them was so pissed that he called out Spence... and Spence did a double take and glared up at him. Bonita takes shit from no spectator.

Play of the game: one of the previously mentioned doubles comes at Sandrine Gruda. She throws a wild pass towards Jekabsone-Zogota, who leaps into the air and saves the ball from going into the backcourt by maybe two millimeters to Erin Phillips. Phillips makes a move, then sinks the jumper from the free throw line as the shot clock expires. Unfrigginbelievable. The first two times I saw the replay, I thought Jekabsone-Zogota was over and back, but the third time showed just how close she was to the line. Helluva play. Quick, name the one thing all three of these players have in common. Mike Thibault, this is why I think you're awesome.

What I liked about this game was that it was well-coached. Donovan recognized that Gruda was the only legit post threat left for the Sun with Jones's injury, so she made sure that Gruda wouldn't be able to use her height and outside shot effectively against us by having Janel pressure her and always having someone come double on her. Unfortunately, that strategy left the perimeter open, and the Sun took advantage of that with 11 threes. That's probably why Holt was taking so many more long shots than usual. Attack, counterattack; IIRC, when the Liberty started to defend the perimeter, the Sun started to go inside, forcing the Liberty back in.

All in all, it was a good game, and one that I enjoyed right up until the part where the Liberty lost.

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September 1st, 2009: Seattle at New York

What is this I don't even


I'm having a lot of trouble trying to write these notes, just to be completely honest with you at the outset. The game sucked. My team sucked. I'm still seething at some of the dirty play and at the breathtaking incompetence of the officiating crew. I'm having a harder time than usual disengaging my seafoam-green soul from these notes, which is a major problem when the Storm are involved, because I know a lot of Storm fans. I'll do my best to write notes of the quality you've come to expect, but I'm really fucking pissed off right now.

It started off well, too. The Storm players, despite some time pressure, were all very obliging, working up and down the railings to try and make sure they didn't miss anyone. So was Nancy Darsch. So was Adia Barnes. I was really feeling good.

I may not like Sidney Spencer, but at least her taste in music is in the same ballpark as mine.

Then came a random, pointless rendition of "America the Beautiful". Imagine, if you will, that someone had found a young Fran Drescher, handed her a microphone, and told her to sing through her nose as loudly as possible, and furthermore that she should put her mouth as close to the microphone as she should. I have no idea who that girl's parents know, but a lot of money had to have changed hands for that to happen, seriously. The anthem was better, though it got a bit high-pitched at times. Both of them flubbed the words, though. Aaargh.

Sue Bird plays a very slick game. She and Tanisha Wright have a nice little drop pass thing going. Not a dropped pass, just a quick little drop and pick-up. She also seems to be more willing to throw her body into the fray- she stretched out for a full body dive a few times. Wright also showed some flashy moves. They weren't as successful as Lennox's were in the past, but she sliced through our defense like a hot knife through butter. Cash played a tenacious defensive game, but stylistically, Bill Laimbeer would have been proud of her. Camille Little threw her weight around. A lot. That ass of hers is a weapon of mass destruction. I'm surprised it doesn't have its own UN inspector. Janell Burse's jump shot is odd. I don't think she's confident enough that her shoulder will hold up to really commit to her shot. Also, it was rather frustrating and a bit kinky to have to keep yelling, "Janell, stop grabbing Janel's ass!"

Pee-Wee runs a good game, though she's a bit of a drama queen. Ashley Robinson made a very pretty cameo. Batkovic-Brown saw extended time as the reserve post. She's awkward-looking and has all the grace, charm, and tact of a bulldozer whose operator has fallen asleep at the wheel, but she gets the job done. Ashley Walker has very pretty hair, but she was a DNP-CD, so I can't talk about her game.

Has anyone seen Essence Carson? Or Shameka Christon? Or Loree Moore's basketball IQ on the offensive end of the floor? Essence was embarrassing, and that's on both sides of halfcourt; her defense was awful and her offense nonexistent. At least Shameka collected a few rebounds in between taking redonkulously long threes and missing them every which way but loose. Loree's clock management skills continue to be absent. I can't get on Janel too much, not after she got her bell rung hard enough that they brought out a bucket for her to barf in. Good times. Cathrine seemed to be the only one of our starters who wanted to win this game, and maybe that's just because she wanted to show Seattle what they could have had if New York hadn't matched the offer. Yeah, she had some bad passes and some dumb plays, but she was rebounding and the threes were mostly falling. I can't complain too much about that.

Ashley. What's wrong? I know specifically what was wrong tonight- she played with her heart and not her head, because by the end of the game I thought she was going to punch out the lights of the nearest Storm player. (Given that it was Wright, that might have been an interesting duel.) But she doesn't look right physically, either. She's always had an odd way of moving, but her lurch is starting to remind me of Frankenstein's monster. Mom's theory is that she's being overplayed (because we all know how Donovan loves her veterans) and that she's starting to wear down a little. Essence, come back from the land of the Pod People, we need you! Kia started slow, and was prey to the usual array of dumb mistakes, but at least she was going towards the basket and trying to make something happen, even if nothing was going to happen because Seattle would pretty much had to have been brandishing firearms for Courteau to call a foul. Leilani, stop hesitating or the nice lady in section 209 who sits in front of my mother is going to come down there and slap you silly. She looked like she was in over her head tonight (which isn't hard, since she is a cute little bunny), but Bird and Pee-Wee are not a PG matchup I wish on any young player. Tiffany was all right. Spencer had one great defensive play on her first sequence, and that was the end of her usefulness for the night. Dear Miss Spencer: STOP FAILING SO HARD. Your fail not only means we fuck up, but also means Shameka can't rest, which does not end well for us.

Clock management. Time management. OMG, you guys. The last two minutes of the game were such an epic clusterfuck that George Lucas is making a trilogy about it. They're called "Why the Fuck Are You Wasting Time with the Dribble?", "Down 4 in the Last Minute Is a Good Situation to Foul in", and "You're Putting Your Defensive Specialist in on Offense Why?" The prequel is "Shot Selection, Motherfuckers, Do You Know What It Is?" I swear to God, early in the game they were taking threes early in the clock like there was no tomorrow. Down to the last couple of minutes, suddenly they're looking for the perfect shot and working the ball around? Fffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

This is really the first game where Donovan's coaching has disappointed me.

However. All that being said. DIE IN A FIRE, JUNE COURTEAU. Or if you can't do that, at least meet me in a back alley with Ashley, Kia, and Erlana. I'd certainly be glad to give you a new reason to hate New York instead of the same beef you've been chewing on for eight years. I keep saying I've never seen such a badly-reffed game in my life, and then another one comes along. YOU GUYS THIS IS NOT A CONTEST. Call it both ways. If Loree hits someone with her ass, yes, that's a foul. But it should also be a foul when Camille Little hits someone with her ass. If it's a reach-in on Ashley, it's a reach-in on Pee-Wee. It's no wonder New York was scared shitless to go inside, especially after Janel came up looking like she was seeing triple. I know we're not the most aggressive team in the world, and that Seattle will go inside more, but does anyone honestly think that it would be 5-0 on personal fouls at 5:29 of the third quarter, putting the Storm in the bonus with more than half the quarter to play?

Again, if I'm not as rational or eloquent as usual, it's because I'm tired and cranky, but it's also because Maddie ate my head in the fourth quarter, while we were putting together a defensive stance of fail. In the end, I know we held our fate in our hands and threw it away like a kid with confetti. At the same time, I can't help but feel that the inconsistency and bias in the officiating helped fuck it up for us. I don't want to look back at a loss and say, "Yeah, but the refs." That's counter-productive at best. It masks the real problems.

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