September 28th, 2004: Detroit at New York, Eastern Conference First Round

New York Liberty 66, Detroit Shock 64

Bethany Donaphin, bitches!


Lesson #1: The name is Bethany Donaphin. Not Donaho, Donawho, Donafo, Donaphuck, or whatever other cute variants y'all can come up with. Donaphin. At least in my book, if you make a key block and hit the game- and series-winning shot, you get a free pass until you do something blatantly game-losing.

Lesson #2: Adminitrix Kate of wnbatalk is a full fledged goddess. I hang out with her before games most of the time, and tonight she had no date, so she asked me if I would like to join her. Adminitrix Kate sits just to the side of the Liberty bench, in the first row. I did what any sensible Liberty fan would do and accepted her invitation. Ohhhhh, wow, what a view, and that was just Tari.

Tonight was Bring Your Own Crowd-Inciting Sign night. In one corner, we had herrade of WorldCrossing with the "I *heart* Tari" signs being handed out; Donna's full color version behind the Shock bench made it on television a couple of times when they showed the required shots of Laimbeer pacing the sideline. I have one, but I was afraid the fine print would get me kicked out, and I was getting comfy. In the other corner, we had Adminitrix Kate and her "We Need Better officiAls" signage. She tried to circulate them via placing them on the seats, but she was told that that was forbidden.

Playoff rosters cannot be changed between rounds, and Patty's fine cannot be paid by the fans. However, we can take her out to dinner.

The horns are now famous. Leave it to Ali to bring them to Rebecca Lobo's attention.

Are we all sure Cheryl Ford went to Tech, not Texas? 'Cause she was sure hookin' 'em out there. She and Bethany looked like they were about to skip off into the sunset a couple of times. I still respect her toughness, but damn, girl's got her daddy's elbows and her daddy's moves. How she managed not to get called for anything tonight is beyond me. Ruth Riley got caught a lot tonight. She was not happy. It's interesting, though, she's the one that brings the team together for those stoppage-of-play huddles, like some sort of mama bird. (For some reason, I get the feeling someone should call her Mommy. She just exudes that 'c'mere, mommy will make it all better' air.) Elaine Powell is still the most underrated PG in the league- of course, it does help when your team is hitting shots, but she's wicked sneaky fast and smart. Tweety was on, but also covered. I don't think our defensive aces wanted her to embarrass them again. Of course, this meant leaving Merlakia Jones open, and if there's anything, ANYTHING, a Liberty player should know, it's that you DO NOT LEAVE LAKE OPEN. She's tortured and brutalized this team often enough in black and blue, why should it be any different in blue and red? Oyyyy... also, I missed these extracurriculars, but after Cheryl Ford made Bethany into her own personal tackling dummy, apparently Lake got in a shove and/or an elbow on Vickie. Why, I don't know. Barbara Farris wasn't all that impressive tonight, except for bringing size that the Liberty originally couldn't counter. I found it interesting that Bill tightened up his rotation for this game; Chandi Jones saw no time, while Stacey Thomas and Ayana Walker only came in near the end in order to commit fouls and be defensive. (One task for each of them.) Also, dude, coming from one Board Junkie to a retired Board Junkie... SHADDAP ALREADY!!!!

Crystal and Becky decided that they weren't losing this game, and everyone went along for the ride in fear of finding a shotgun somewhere unpleasant. Becky finally came out firing, and she hit her threes at great points in the game. Crystal was all over the place defensively, and again with the key shots. Stoppin' and poppin', I love Crystal's stroke. Poor Elena looked like crap, but she pulled down a lot of boards. (By crap, I don't refer to her game. I mean she would have looked a lot better with a bowl of chicken soup, a blankie, and a stuffed animal.) VJ was quiet offensively, but she pulled a Louisiana Lefty on us and filled up the rest of the columns. Bethany, of course, only stuffed a shot that would have given Detroit a chance at one end, and then later hit the lay-up. The fumbled passes and rather out-of-placeness at the top of the arc are therefore forgiven. La'Keshia was so solid and so screwed over by the refs (on which, see later). DeTrina didn't come in until the second half. I wonder if she was benched because of the whole 'COME ON TIME" rule; I didn't see her come in, though she might have used the side entrance. K.B. ate time beautifully. Patty is not as cool, calm, and collected as sometimes she's thought to be. She yells at the refs a lot. Walks away in disgust, that kind of thing.

Conversation during the game:

(after a bad no-call)
Me: Call a f*cking foul, you f*cking incompetents! (aside to Kate) See, this is why I can't be a coach.
(after yet another bad no-call which only leads to a throw-in)
Patty: F*CK!!
Me: Or maybe so.

Yes, the refs blew chunks. Like, duh. So much holding. So much stupidity. So much badness. For a while we were sure they didn't know what a three-second call was. My favorite blooper was when Cheryl Ford took down Bethany and they called it on Bethany. F*cking incompetents was the theme of the night. Since Val was there, she presumably could see how the officiating resembled vacuums and black holes.

Congrats to Becca on the bundle-of-joy-to-be. Now, if only she didn't have to clamber over chairs every time she wanted to look into the huddle...

Alison lost the dance contest, but it was rigged. RIGGED, I tell ya.

Blown kisses to my mom in 210, to Anthony in his Mactabene Amachree Team Nigeria jersey, to Alfonzo who can't jump, and to all the sign-wavers.

Camille, if you've made it here already, I humbly apologize for shrieking in your ear the entire duration of the game.

We made the conference finals! WOOOOOO! BRING IT!