August 28th, 2008: Chicago Sky at New York Liberty

Chicago Sky 69, New York Liberty 60

Someone did tell the Liberty that the Olympic break is over, right?


What. The. Fuck.

No. Better. What. The. Fucking. Fuck?

I'm tempted to stop there, but then you'd miss Tiffany's singing, Ashley's room-working, Sylvia Fowles just being kinda awesome, tragic cello abuse, and Juilliard jazz.

Got in early, settled in on the rail, and the first thing I noticed was Tiffany Jackson in street clothes. OMGWTFNO, I said to myself. The hell she do to herself? So I asked her. Stress fracture. Same shin. I thought we'd already established that calcium was supposed to be part of a balanced diet? She directed us to come see her in her stylish outfits. She also spent a hella lot of time bonding with one of the kidlets, to the point where when Ashley wanted to say hello to the kidlet, Tiffany was all "Nuh-uh, you had your chance." with the hand up and everything. Classic Ashley moment #1 of the night was her giving Carrie (who shows up in road colors but is a Liberty fan naetheless- she's an ink junkie) all kinds of good-natured grief after catching sight of Carrie's Dupree jersey. Classic Ashley moment #2 was her in the aisle, looking back and forth, making sure she'd gotten everyone before she headed in.

And then classic Ashley moment #3 overlapped with classic Janel moment #1 when the chest bump went awry. Watch out for flying Huskies!

I'd have loved to overhear K.B. and Erin's conversation during shootaround. Or, for that matter, AB and Brooke Wyckoff's extended conversation- I know they both play in Spain pretty regularly, but have they been teammates? And everyone loves Fowles, and she loves everyone- she glomped Tiffany when she was coming off the court.

So when the hell did Jia Perkins get so good at getting open? There was a point in the first half where she *was* the Chicago offense. She faded in the second half, but they didn't need her at that point. Liked the way Canty worked getting to the basket- I don't think she's 100%, but who is at this point in the season? Wyckoff was very much a non-factor in my eyes, unless she was playing defense. Of course, I may be thrown off by her being a brunette. How long has she been a brunette? Seriously? I was all, "who the heck is AB talking to, she looks like Kayte Christensen a little bit…" and then she turned around and O HAI BROOKE. Quiet night for Dupree, though she had one gorgeous finger roll that reminded me why I love to watch her work. Fowles was a game-changer in the second half- when she got her legs under her, we were so totally screwed, and yet we kept going inside. I don't get it either. If she'd gotten more touches on the inside, we'd have been demolished. Canty's foul trouble gave K.B. extended run, and I thought she ran her team well- not spectacularly, but she didn't fuck up, and that's what makes a good backup point guard (at least in my opinion- your mileage may vary). Price is still freaky fast and tends to be all over the place. Melvin was solid, if unspectacular. Then again, I suppose it's hard to stick out as a post player when the other two members of your rotation are Fowles and Dupree.

What's wrong with Loree? I'd like to believe that somehow the break wasn't enough for her to rest up, because otherwise I'd have to believe that her brilliance was the fluke and this is closer to the reality, and obviously I do not want to believe that. She just doesn't look right at all. On the plus side, at least Essence took the opportunity to scrape herself off the rookie wall- her shots were falling, and she even managed to figure out where the actual three-point line was (okay, her foot was on it, but don't tell anyone). Shameka was a non-factor, though I'd have to check the boxscore to see how many shots she took- it struck me that she didn't get that many at all. Cathrine set a Screen of Death and got hot early, and then promptly disappeared, except for rebounding slightly better than she has most of the season, but you can't have one short flurry of points in the first quarter and then assume your role in the offense is done. A lot of stuff went through Janel, especially late in the game, and I'm not sure that'a decision I would have made- yes, Janel can and will score when given shots, but trying to put it down the throat of someone four inches taller just seems like a bad plan. Off the bench, both of the other rookies played reasonably well. Leilani was solid, and that hiiiiiiiiiiiiigh layup was very impressive. I liked the way Erlana fought for rebounds, but she's got to finish and she's got to hold on to the ball. That goes for you too, Erin. That fumble in the corner really symbolized the entire game- we had it, and then we just dropped it and let it roll out of bounds. I thought it was interesting that in a couple of the huddles, she was leading the discussion, and there were a couple of instances where she was having quite an intense, gesture-filled conversation with Coyle (no, not those gestures, she's not that New York yet). I'm pretty sure Ashley didn't suck, but I'm too traumatized by her hair to remember if she had any good plays. Jessica. Ann. Davenport. Catch. The. FUCKING. Ball. I don't care if you roofed someone so hard that they're still looking for their dignity. CATCH the ball on rebounds. Hold it like it was made out of diamond. CATCH THE FUCKING BALL. And just for the record, not every shot has to come off the glass.

Something happen with Lisa? She hardly played. Not that she abruptly lit up the room when she did get into the game, but Erin got almost all of her run and didn't use it so effectively that everyone in the Garden would have knelt at her feet. (Now, if that three-pointer had counted, that's a whole other story.) I figured if she was hurt, Megan would have been activated, but you never know with That Moron.

Dear anthem singer: OW. I have no eardrums and I must scream. Both of my neighbors tonight wear glasses, and I'm very surprised they still have their vision. OW. The halftime entertainment, though, with two jazzy Juilliard students, gets this Liberty fan's stamp of approval. Less so the guy abusing the cello. If he manages to win the competition he's in, I hope he uses part of his prize to buy a bow for that thing.

There are things in this world I never want to see again. Leilani in green leopard print- even if she was Photoshopped into it- is one of them, because ew. About the only thing that would be worse is if someone wore the green leopard print with Schuey's infamous pink hot pants.

The musical numbers are good for a laugh, but for God's sake, people, don't let Tiffany take lead. Ashley can't find a key, it's true, but Tiffany can't find a note. I realize the bad is what makes it good, but there comes a point where it's just a matter of torturing people for humor's sake, and with that game the way it was going, we didn't need further torture. (Also, the wrong song kept popping into my head with Lisa, Loree, Shameka, Ashley, Tiffany… and Megan… as the singing and dancing group. One of these things is not like the others…)

You could tell that both that and the Golden Maddie were filmed a while back- Shameka still had the wild hair. "Hey. How *you* doin'?" was the line of the day, and I'm pretty sure that at least Leilani was buzzed during filming. I thought it was a little odd that the three were Leilani, Essence, and Shameka- that line seems born for big oafy girls.

Afterwards, since I was a free agent, I hung out by the Chicago bus. We're still trying to figure out where K.B. took Joens and Fluker- either someone got deputized to pick up the donuts or Fluker crashed a meeting of the "I was cut for Erin Thorn and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" club. Price, Fowles, and Chaney were kind enough to stop, sign, and pose for pictures. I gotta say, Fowles has *it*. That not-quite-charisma-but-it's-the-word-that-fits-most-closely that Catch and Taj have. And apparently they left someone on the court. No, I'm not quite sure how that happened. Judging from silhouettes, though, it would have had to be either Wyckoff, Dupree, or Perkins. We spotted the rest of them. Canty's afro definitely helps in identification in the near-dark.

All in all, I'd have to say I was unimpressed. Chicago missed half their free throws and got hardly anything on the scoreboard from their frontcourt- but they beat us by 9. Quick turnaround time for both teams, too. I hate back to back games so much.