January 27th, 2009: DePaul at St. John's

DePaul Blue Demons 59, St. John's Red Storm 58

What's worse, getting your ass kicked all over the floor or losing a heartbreaker? You decide!


That was disgusting. That was embarrassing. That was shameful. That was one of the worst implosions I've ever seen from a team in my life, and the gods alone know how many I've seen from my beloved, yet utterly frustrating, teams.

I should have realized things were going to go sideways when I took out my camera to try and show all y'all out there what the shiny new inside of Carnesecca looked like, only to discover that the batteries had died. NOT COOL. So no pictures from this game. It's probably for the best. I'm trying to forget this game as quickly as possible.

The anthem did not suck. Bring back the mixed chorus more often, please. At least they know how to sing.

We held a somewhat pathetic moment of silence for Coach Yow. I say pathetic only because there's too much ambient noise from the lobby to keep the arena silent. Doug Bruno was kitted out in his finest pink tie, what looked to be a WBCA shirt, and pink ribbons (along with the rest of his staff). Looked like the Red Storm's staff was wearing smaller, darker ribbons.

Keisha Hampton absolutely tore us apart. Oh, hi, person who's taller than any of our starters. Would you like to completely kick our asses? Oh, you brought a friend? Hi, Felicia Chester! Go right ahead, score on our frontcourt all you want! Never let it be said that we're not obliging hosts. Hampton did a great job getting position in the paint on both ends of the floor, especially on the boards. We kept leaving China Threatt open (which, I'm sorry, that still sounds like a foreign policy conference, not a shooting guard) and she kept making us pay. Somehow, the fact that she was the one who sealed their game against Rutgers with a jumper escaped everyone on the floor and on the St. John's bench. Seriously, guys? Do you not read what little there is to be read about the women's game? Naughton's slick. And she wasn't at her best, from what I've read. That frightens me. Sam Quigley reminded us of a Miller, stylistically and with the ponytail. Obviously not as cut, though. I don't think anyone is. She might be a better ballhawk, though- she was all over our utterly inept ballhandlers like white on rice. Even when we had a double-digit lead, the Blue Demons came at us and hit the holy hell out of us on the boards and on defense. They never gave up, which is the major difference between them and us.

Because we were some very epic fail out there, I'll tell you. Monique's got to be willing to shoot more. I can't believe I'm saying this- wasn't it just this time last year that I was bitching about the number of shots Monique was chucking? But right now she's the big dog, and if she doesn't step up, no one will. Da'Shena's trying, and so's Britney, but they're only freshmen, and they're bound to make mistakes. Right now, this team looks to be in complete disarray. One of our captains isn't playing her game because… well, because, and the other one is still suffering from the aftereffects of her sprained ankle. I think this is actually the first time I've seen Joy since the injury, and she's definitely not herself. She's not going up as hard, she's not hanging on to the ball, and I think she's trying to do too much on a bum ankle. Heart is all well and good, but right now, it's a bit of a failing. If someone would please find Kelly's common sense, that would be greatly appreciated, because while her shooting's gtting a little better, her decision-making is still sub-par. The only reason I give her a pass tonight was because right at the outset, she hit the deck on two consecutive plays. So that had to hurt like hell, and probably rang her bell a little bit, so I'll let her slide. Just for tonight, though. Doesn't explain any of the previous games. As mentioned, Da'Shena's trying, and this was the first game where, at least to me, she looked frustrated by bigger players. Good game by Sky, one of the few bright spots. What in the world is wrong with Centhya Hart, and how can we make it stop? Girl's got her head stuck up her ass, and unlike Kia Vaughn, she doesn't have the build or the innate talent to play at the Big East level with her head so firmly lodged. We need her to step up with Joy injured and Coach's sudden refusal to give Sheree any time and Recee any significant time- at least Recee played a little, and showed signs of being the badass we all know she can be.

Here's an example of the epic fail I'm talking about here. Coco gets the ball on a fast break, wide open under the basket. Instead of going for the layup like just about any basketball player with a modicum of intelligence- or, indeed, even a general knowledge of the rules- she walks across the paint to the other side of the basket. Not dribbles- by the way, I should mention that she was already on the right side of the basket, and she's right-handed- but walks. The referee, not being a complete moron, called her for the travel, so instead of two easy points, we get a turnover. UR FAIL IS SHOWIN.

Bob Trammell, in what undisclosed location have you been hiding out? And of all the points of emphasis to bring with you, why did you bring the double dribble? There were four double-dribbles in that game, I'm not exaggerating.

Dear St. John's, really, stop inflicting the dancing girls on us at every timeout. They're not terribly attractive, they're about as synchronized as an epileptic fit, and they don't do anything markedly different from routine to routine.

The kids were cute, though. Molloy's JV girls were cheering for the little itty bitty one, and the roof nearly came off when she hit a shot. I kinda thought the buzzer beater was more interesting, but clearly I'm less sentimental and more into basketball.

A star-studded night… well, inasmuch as any game can be considered star-studded when only 500 people show up. Two of our latest suckers promising young recruits for next season came. Friend of mine mentioned that Chandler from the Knicks was there (I suppose he was the bulky bald guy a few rows below me who mom thought looked like Rick Mahorn from the back), and that Kia Wright was in the house. I miss Kia. I miss Kia's family, too.

I don't think I can stress enough how badly we fell apart in the second half. Everything just went wrong, and no one was really innocent. Considering this is now our third close loss in a row, I'm starting to wonder what this team is made of, and if it can be reinforced with a steel alloy sooner rather than later.