December 20th, 2017: UCLA at Fordham

Just the Facts, Ma'am: UCLA scored the first nine points of the game and never looked back in their 67-30 win over Fordham. Jordin Canada had 16 points and six assists to lead the Bruins, with Monique Billings adding a 10-point, 10-rebound double-double. Bre Cavanaugh's nine points led Fordham.

For terrible shot selection, travel issues, cookies, a lack of signage, and being overmatched, join your intrepid blogger after the jump.


Good evening, folks! It's the last unique stop on this crazy ride, as UCLA finishes their East Coast road trip with a visit to the Rams of Fordham.

For various and sundry reasons, I am not thrilled with the MTA right now, even less than usual.

Solid anthem, though I thought for a second dude lost track of the words.

At halftime, it's 37-12 UCLA, which is only slightly worse than I expected, to be honest. Fordham doesn't match up well with the Bruins, and the disparity is enhanced by Fordham missing open shots. If Bre Cavanaugh takes one more quick three I may scream and not in the fun kind of way.

Sir, I don't want to doubt your word that this row is reserved, but unlike every other reserved row in the section, there doesn't seem to be a sign to that effect.

Kid, I don't want to hit you in the head with my laptop, but can you meet me halfway and stop throwing your head back?

Well, I can say without the shadow of a doubt that this was most definitely a thing that happened. I don't necessarily like the thing that happened, but it happened.

Lauryn Miller is not a person one should run headlong into. She establishes her spot in the middle, and if you want to move her, good luck. I know one of the fouls she committed was essentially checking a guard into the non-existent boards on the sideline. Chrissy Baird is not ready for primetime. She's a junior, so I don't know if she'll ever be, but stranger things have happened. Her teammates were rooting so hard for her to get that basket. Ally Rosenblum is tall. That's just about all I've got on her.

After the game she had at Seton Hall, I was surprised Michaela Onyenwere started this game on the bench. Her shooting was not as solid as it was on Sunday, though she had a couple of gorgeous cuts to the basket. The AAU coach next to me was admiring her form and determination. She doesn't have quite the physical gifts that Billings has, but I don't know that the Bruins are going to lose much once she slides into that slot. Chantel Horvat got extended run and got off a couple of quick threes. She has potential, but I don't know if she's realized what it is or where she fits on the floor. (I liked the sequence after an unnecessary defensive foul- Coach Close called her over and talked to her, miming out proper defensive positioning.) I realize this wasn't the best game for Japreece Dean, and I don't agree with playing her next to Canada (fun-size backcourts are not my thing no matter how much Tony is trying to sell them). There was a play where she sort of bunny-hopped onto the sideline, and in almost slow motion realized that she was out of bounds- we're not sure if she was deliberately playing it up (since it was near the end of the game) or if the ref caught her before she could sneak back into play.

For some reason I got the sense that Jordin Canada might have been a tiny bit disappointed in how she played at Seton Hall. She was quick as lightning out there, including one steal so slick I'm pretty sure she took Mary Goulding's lunch money with it. The layup to end the half was disheartening, to say the least. She's the kind of player who makes an offense better because she understands how it flows. I really like what I've seen out of Kelli Hayes. She's incredibly versatile defensively, equally comfortable on the perimeter or inside, and has a nice outside shot. She's stepping up as a senior, which is another thing I love. Sometimes it's the small things- late in the game, she called for the ball, wide open in the right corner... and then decided against the three, instead setting up Baird (who was scoreless) inside. Classy and selfless. Kennedy Burke had a quiet night, but her size at guard anchored the defense inside and out. I think she might have been on Bre for stretches, which would explain a lot of Bre's curious offensive decisions.

All things considered, I do not understand why Lajahna Drummer starts. She rebounds well, but her shooting needs work- and that's saying something, given that most of her shots came right at the basket. If she could hit consistently, she'd be a force to be reckoned with. Monique Billings got off to a bit of a slow start, but gradually she started to impose her will on the game. I think it sank in that she was taller than everyone else on the floor, could get up higher, and get more done. That's when she pulled out the hook shot and the high bank shot and all the other things we get jealous of tall people for. I thought she stayed in the game too long, but it looked like UCLA was just trying to get her a double-double before sitting her. I understand that even if I don't necessarily approve of it.

UCLA's tendency to play faster than they could reasonably manage was actually tempered by Fordham's slower pace and strict zone. Seton Hall was able to force the Bruins into mistakes; in this game, they had time to consider their life and their choices. They held on to the ball instead of coughing it up.

For once, Fordham went deep into the bench. I think this is the first time I've seen Lauren Murphy play. I don't think I've missed much by it. Ditto for Kristen Ryan. This is not the first time I've seen Katie McLoughlin play, but I'm still not impressed. I'm not sure about playing Ralene Kwiatkowski next to Lauren Holden- they seem too similar, and I think Ralene is supposed to be Lauren's understudy.

The fact that we only had two reserves play double-digit minutes in this steaming pile of hot garbage game is a problem all by itself. Zara Jillings brought defense and a good lay-up, but that was about it. Kendell Heremaia ran more point than I was expecting, and couldn't get her three-point shot working.

Lauren Holden took her time finding her shot, and the one deep make didn't make up for the dubious decision-making she demonstrated all day. I have to admire her tenacity in defending larger players and sort of making it work by prising away insufficiently secured balls, but that's about it for her in this game. Bre Cavanaugh played without the fearlessness that marked her in the big wins over Pittsburgh and St. John's. She spent most of the night being the exception to the rule that Fordham runs a slow offense, instead chucking up quick threes without rhyme or reason. She kept the chip on her shoulder, but something was off.

G'mrice Davis rebounded well, all things considered with the players around her, but struggled against UCLA's interior players on both ends of the floor- she couldn't get off good shots and she couldn't stop UCLA from hitting theirs. Mary Goulding brought the hustle plays, but her carelessness with the ball canceled out a lot of the good that she did. I'm not sure which missed shots got me more upset, the close ones right at the basket that should have been makeable, or the long twos that might have been threes but we'll never know because she couldn't hit them. That's not her strength, and we went too quickly from "still in the game if we don't screw it up too badly" to "welp, this is a thing that has happened, let's get ready for Hartford and not do anything stupid in the meantime" for that to be a viable offensive option. The only really strong impression left on me by Johanna Klug was the feeling that she should not have committed the fouls she did.

Y'all. If you're going to foul the shooter, the leas you could do is make sure she doesn't actually hit the shot. I think we gave UCLA four and-1s on cheap fouls. Do or do not. There is no try. I know we already did Star Wars Night, but let's go with it.

A lot of weaksauce fouls called, but they were letting us travel all night, so I'll take it. I think the double foul was an abrogation of responsibility, but at the same time, I saw the elbow by Drummer and my husband swears that he saw G'mrice commit a foul, so I guess that was the right call.

I recognize that we were in over our heads here, but I don't think we helped ourselves with the missed free throws and the blown chippies. Maybe it was nerves- there was a lot of odd spin on those shots. I don't think we were ready for the size and speed of UCLA, no matter how much we told ourselves we were.

We have a black Santa. Your argument is invalid. I love how Fordham embraces the international flavor of their team- the Happy Holidays message was given in the multiple languages the team speaks. (Though I don't know all the languages, since I looked up in the middle of the video, I know we have a German, a Latvian, a Fijian, and a Pole.) (And a couple of Kiwis, and I think maybe Kendell was speaking Maori or another indigenous language of the area?)

Nice suit on the bandleader. Very maroon.

Fordham called in all their chips to pack the house. I hope it was worth it.