July 28th, 2018: All-Star Game

Just the Facts, Ma'am: A strong second-half powered Candace Parker's All-Star squad to a 119-112 win over Elena Delle Donne's team. Game MVP Maya Moore notched 18 points, eight rebounds, and six assists. Kristi Toliver had 23 points, including seven threes, in a losing cause.

For traveling fans, monochrome jerseys, dubious anthems, not staying in your seat, and picking up the intensity, join your intrepid and exhausted blogger after the jump.


The time has come. The All-Star Game is upon us. The league's best will do the things they're best at, and a game might result.

I gotta say, for a fan base that lost their team almost ten years ago, Sacramento is showing up really well. And there's a Sun fan here in a custom jersey, so Washington is the last straggler. Shout out to the Mitchell fans here for the shootout, and to the Atlanta season ticket sisters we passed behind on the way over.

Did a lap. Found a Mystics fan, so the gang's all here.

Renee Montgomery is shooting around in a Tiffany Hayes jersey. Y'know, the simplest thing would have been to send Hayes instead....

Elvis has entered the building. Maya Moore is getting shots up to the roar of the crowd.

If I wanted a basketball comedy show, I'd watch the Globetrotters. They took it a little more seriously in the second quarter, but there were some cringeworthy moments.

The game got way better and way more competitive in the second half. We saw the array of skills that these brilliant players have to offer, and they were glorious. Currently attempting to write postgame notes from the afterparty at Kieran's, but I'm a wee bit distracted by all the other fans. Also, it's dark in here and I can't see my stat sheet. Also,, y'all really think I'm doing an entire breakdown of an All-Star game, that's cute.

Allie Quigley, as per usual, owned the the shooting contest. Going to the tiebreaker round was incredibly exciting, and then Quigley went into beast mode. Like, whoa. Watching her shoot is an experience.

Stargazing: Cynthia Cooper (thankfully not using her unfortunate married name), Sheryl Swoopes, Taj McWilliams-Franklin (who got a huge round of applause and a partial standing ovation from the crowd), Kym Hampton (who was next to Mama Taj and went unremarked by the PA guy).

The podcast at Kieran's was fun, but I would have liked to hear more questions from the audience, instead of one question that essentially repeated half the intro information. Ma'am, it's not our fault you showed up late and missed intros.

I wasn't impressed with the anthem singer. I think she has less singing range than Kia Vaughn has shooting range.

A'ja Wilson came to play for Team Black Jerseys. (I refuse to use the "Team Delle Donne/Team Parker" nonsense. Maybe next year we can go with Oatmeal and Orange?) She took advantage of open space and cut backdoor with no Mersey. Brittney Griner was okay inside, but she was one of the players taking the game more lightly than competitively. DeWanna Bonner did a good job on the offensive glass. It was nice to see her using her height well.

I don't think Kristi Toliver could miss in the second half. She blasted three after three, to the point where I had to improvise desperately after she hit the seventh three. She set herself up for the first one with a wicked crossover (on McCoughtry, I think). If they'd come back to win, she should have been MVP. Kayla McBride got matched up with Allie Quigley frequently, and did a better job at the rack against her than she did beyond the arc. Seimone Augustus unleashed her midrange jumper to devastating effect, and joined the second-half three-point barrage.

Breanna Stewart got her team off to a hot start with easy lay-ups in the lane. She's so deceptively smooth. Like, she doesn't look like she's going to be, and then it happens. Elena Delle Donne had a quiet game on offense, though she did a pretty good job on the glass- she was so quiet, and Wilson was so good, that she didn't even start the second half for the team that bore her name. I'm easily amused by that sort of thing. Sylvia Fowles had a big block on Tina Charles (much to my chagrin) and used her hands well on defense when the team buckled down defensively. I still think she should have been called for the foul for clobbering McCoughtry, though.

Diana Taurasi came to Minneapolis to shoot threes and chew gum, and I think she ran out of gum somewhere along the line. She and Sue Bird both showed up to have a good time and mess around. But I don't think either of them took the game all that seriously. I guess if you do it as often as they have, you run out of oomph eventually. I'm a little more disappointed in Taurasi; she usually puts on a better show.

Thank all that's sweet and holy this was probably the worst game Tina Charles is going to have all season, because we know exactly how little this game matters and how little of a burden she had to carry. She hit a couple of her standard fadeaways, but missed a couple of shots short and generally looked discombobulated. Leave the discombobulation in Minny, Tina. Chiney Ogwumike was rebounding at the basket, especially on the offensive end, and sometimes seemed to be the only person inclined to go below their waist for a rebound. Honestly, I almost forgot about Rebekkah Brunson. She got a lot of pop, but couldn't hit.

Jewell Loyd teamed up with her former point guard for the Jewelly-oop, which is always a glorious sight. She had quick hands on an interception, too. You know how much it galls me to compliment Skylar Diggins-Smith. (I have admitted she annoys me irrationally.) That being said, she should have been All-Star MVP. No question in my mind. She was efficient, she was ruthless, she was dazzling, and she was the reason why Team White Jerseys won that game. That prissy veneer peeled away to reveal the cutthroat competitor beneath, and she ran the show perfectly. Allie Quigley hits shots. It's who she is. It's what she does. You leave her open from three, she's going to hit the three.

I don't think I'd want her doing it on a regular basis, but Liz Cambage did not actually make the world's worst point guard in this game. I mean, no one was heavily pressuring her, but it actually sort of worked, and for a game full of shenanigans I'm okay with it. Honestly, I liked that nonsense better than the staged dunk at the end of the game that was wedged in almost like they forgot to do the spot. Candace Parker seemed to find a second gear in the second half. But if you came there expecting to see Candace Parker look like an All-Star, you would have left disappointed. You wouldn't have been as disappointed as the Dream fans, though, because Renee Montgomery looked awful in the shootout and Angel McCoughtry kept trying to pull off trick moves that did not work and looked terrible on the court. She did pick up a pretty make off a fancy pass from Chelsea Gray, which I appreciated.

Maya Moore got a lot of buckets, and played good defense as part of her team's comeback, but I thought she got her points on volume, not efficiency. She's such a complete package, such a brilliant player, that when she does overshoot, or make mistakes, they stand out more. Not the worst MVP choice, I suppose, but I thought Diggins-Smith had the better game. Chelsea Gray tried to break out the fancy stuff, but it seemed like she never properly found her stride.

Game got off to a rough start because neither team was sure which basket they were shooting at. Well done, y'all. I blame the refs, who somehow still managed to screw up calls in a game where their services were hardly required.

The atmosphere was dead early on. It felt like we weren't sure what we were supposed to be cheering for. Once the game got sorted out and people started hitting shots and actually looking like they were interested in being out there, the noise picked up.

I do miss the days when defense was part of an All-Star game, but those days are never coming back again. I can deal with that. I guess.

So, Vegas next year? I'm down for it.